Hello peeps 🙂
I’ve been wanting to write this post a while ago but being such a deep kind of topic I was honestly afraid to do it. I am starting to get much more confident about my writing skills, my posts and what I would like my blog to transmit. Because 2 days ago was the World Mental Health Day, I have been kind of going through all my memories and all my “moments’ once aging, trying to follow my path and see what has changed and what has to be improved.
Speaking about mental health, this is an enormous subject and obviously this is not a seminar so I won’t speak about everything that includes meantal illness. I couldn’t. Because I haven’t experienced them all.I couldn’t have. But trust me when I say that everybody, absolutely everybody struggles with some form of difficulty. Even if they struggle with a mental disorder or not, they struggle with something. Anything. So make sure you keep that in mind every time you address to anybody. They could suffer, just like you or like someone you know. Be kind.
I am soo lucky to say I don’t struggle with a major or a dangerous form of a mental disorder. But my ” pain in the ass ” is my ANXIETY. I had my anxiety pretty much my entire life so far, even if I wasn’t able to recognize it. It was there. Stopping me from living my life in the way I wanted. I had 1 panic attack during my whole existence and since then (2 years ago ) , none. So I am going in the right direction even if that feeling haunts me every time I think about it. I can’t say I feel it all the time. I would be lying, but it is there, somewhere well hidden in my mind showing off when I expect it the last. Stopping me. Making my fears go crazy. Leading me to start questioning about every single thing in my life.
I realized my anxiety was there, in my head about 3 years ago. Untill then I just called it fear, insecurities, and a whole bunch of other names, not knowing exactly what stopped me from enjoying deeply my life. As I started to use my internet for other stuff more important then just the news feed from Facebook, I have discovered specialists who wrote about this, peoples who have gone through similar situations, speeches about how to try to eliminate all those feeling alone or with help, therapists, etc. That’s when my life gradually started to change. I have spent so many hours, had so many late nights learning that I have to accept what I was going throw and try to start a battle. It was the best decision I made in my life so far. I am lucky I started this on my own, honestly it was kind of the only option because where I live having a therapist means ” you’re nuts”. Well you are not ! But we don’t people well trained to do this. Not yet. And as much as you would like to speak to anybody about what you are going through , if they don’t experience it themselves, they don’t really get it. At least that is my case.
Constant fear, worst scenarios about what could happen, hesitation, isolation, stress , etc are just a very few of the feelings I get from my anxiety. But the thing that hurts the most is the fact that I fear, I am always thinking about the worst thing that can happen. I turned down so many opportunities and I still do it sometimes because of how I felt/feel. I can’t say I am alone because I am surrounded by amazing people, how love me and even if they can’t really do much for me I know I can count on their support.
Honestly? I came a long way from where I was 3 years ago and now I am willing to do stuff I never thought I would be capable of, but the most important thing is that now I am capable of speaking up. That is the one thing I find the most important in order to improve the state of your mind, to speak. Let it out. That is the first step. Don’t keep all those feeling inside of you because they will it you alive. And it could get worse.
I could rumble about this for hours and hours but I don’t want this to get too much from the begging. If you enjoyed this kind of personal post, I am planning on doing a much more elaborate post about my experiences, my feelings, all in depth. Also I wanna write about my tricks on stopping anxiety. So if you are interested or you wanna read my story keep an eye on some similar posts coming very soon. But till then I wanna know about you. Do you struggle with some form of mental illness? You know someone who has some sort of mental disorder? If you do, speak up, get the proper help, start improving your mental status because even if it is hard work, you are not alone and you won’t regret it. Trust me, you’ll always remember the day you started.
I’m gonna wrap it up for now, see you soon with an update and see you Tuesday with a new post. Together we ca do it!